The other morning as I did my 10 minute morning mindfulness (to work on my focus, posture, compassion, and more), my mind was, of course, doing its job….wandering. I thought of an email I recently got from a teen and wanted to make sure to let them know I received it.

Breath in, breath out.

A new thought popped into my mind, “closing the loop,” and soon after, my session was over.

This got me thinking about how we decide when a string of back and forths has reached a satisfactory endpoint — i.e., the closing of a loop. How do we each differ in what we want, expect, and do?

Given the different dynamics over the various platforms, such as Snapchat, texting, and email, this topic can be exponentially more complex for our kids with their complicated social webs and the added factor of much less in-person time due to COVID. Online interactions can be the only clues to understand an interpersonal dynamic. Is someone not responding because they are busy? Or are they “Ghosting” you?

Later that day, I told my husband that I was thinking about this topic, and he remarked, “It is simple when you say thank you to someone, they say you’re welcome, and you have closed the loop. But it is confusing via, say, email because you aren’t sure if they got it if they don’t respond, but then how many back and forths do you do to feel complete. You don’t want your email full of, ‘Sounds good,’ ‘Got it,’ etc.”

I like the thumbs up or heart emojis on text for precisely this reason. You can end the back and forth, acknowledging that you’ve read the text.

Today I discuss “closing the loop” and digital etiquette, in general. And, I share several quotes from teens about how they close the loop.